First Time Dad Tips: How to Stay Mentally Strong During the Early Months
As both a father and a mental health professional with experience supporting men, I understand how the pressure to be a “good parent” can stir up deep feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and even unresolved issues from our own upbringing. These feelings often hit hardest for new or younger dads, and I’ve seen how they can affect not just the individual, but the whole family. With early awareness and the right support, dads can navigate this transition with greater confidence and emotional clarity.
Let me share some practical ways to keep your mental health strong during those demanding early months. You’ll learn to communicate better with your partner and spot signs of postnatal depression. These strategies will boost your resilience and help you embrace your new role as a dad.
Understanding the Emotional Change of Becoming a Dad
A man’s emotional world transforms completely when he becomes a dad, and most aren’t ready for it. The joy and excitement come with unexpected waves of anxiety, feelings of being alone, and self-doubt that guys find hard to handle. The numbers tell us 4.1% to 16% of men deal with anxiety while their partner is pregnant, and 2.4% to 18% continue to feel this way after the baby arrives [1].
Becoming a new dad can stir up unexpected emotions, especially those rooted in our own childhood experiences. As we care for a newborn, we may find ourselves reflecting on how we were parented—what we received, what we missed, and what we want to do differently. Moments of exhaustion, frustration, or uncertainty can trigger old feelings of not being good enough or remind us of unmet needs from our early years. This isn’t unusual—it’s part of the emotional inheritance we all carry. Recognising these patterns offers an opportunity for self-awareness and growth.
1. Accept that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed as a new dad
New fatherhood can hit harder than expected. Research shows about 10% of dads face postnatal depression in the first three to six months after their baby’s birth [2]. The stats also reveal 23% of new dads feel very alone, and 20% lose touch with many of their friends [2].
People often don’t realize that dads go through hormone changes too. Most fathers’ testosterone levels drop in the months before their baby comes and take a while to bounce back [3]. Lower testosterone links to depression in men, which adds to their emotional challenges.
New dads often end up watching from the sidelines as mom and baby become the center of attention. Instead of talking about how they feel, guys usually bottle up their emotions and pretend everything’s fine [3]. This way of dealing with things doesn’t work long-term and can lead to poor sleep or depression.
Signs you might be struggling include:
Feeling disconnected or detached
Getting angry or irritable more than usual
Avoiding home by working longer hours
Drinking more alcohol or finding other ways to cope
2. Recognise that fatherhood doesn’t come with a manual
Life’s big challenges don’t usually come with instructions and becoming a dad is no different. One dad put it well: “You can read as many books as you like, but you’re never really going to be prepared—and that’s ok” [4].
Books can teach you how to change nappies or make bottles, but they can’t prepare you for the emotional roller coaster. They don’t tell you what to do when your baby won’t stop crying, how to stay calm during teething, or how to handle the deep self-doubt that comes with making parenting choices [4].
The lack of guidance hits especially hard for new dads who grew up without father figures [5]. These dads walk into unknown territory without a map, which naturally brings up anxiety and uncertainty.
Note that fatherhood is something you learn along the way. Every dad feels lost or confused sometimes—it doesn’t mean you’re failing, it just means you’re human [2].
7 Practical Tips to Stay Mentally Strong
New fathers need intentional self-care and mental preparation during their early parenting months. Studies show that all but one of these 10 new dads face perinatal depression and anxiety [6]. Taking care of your mental wellbeing isn’t optional—you need it.
1. Ease up on yourself and drop the ‘Super Dad’ myth
Most new dads should know there’s no such thing as a Super Dad. Fathers often put unnecessary pressure on themselves. They think they need special skills while mothers have “natural instincts.” The truth is that parenting doesn’t come naturally to anyone [7]. You can’t fix everything, and things won’t always go according to plan [8].
2. Communicate openly with your partner
Good communication with your partner is a vital part of early parenting. You both need to share duties like night feeds, plan together, and get enough rest [7]. Direct questions work better than guessing each other’s needs. Weekly check-ins help—try asking “What’s going well?” and “What’s challenging us?” [9]
3. Keep doing small things that make you feel like you
Your identity as “Dad” might take center stage now, but you were you first [8]. Think about what helped you relax before the baby and work it into your new routine [7]. Even quick breaks help you stay connected to who you are beyond being a parent [10].
4. Connect with other first time dads
Statistics show that much of dads feel isolated during their early fatherhood [11]. Meeting other dads who share your experiences can make a real difference. Dad groups on social media, parenting events, and community centers with family programs offer great opportunities [11]. These connections give you reassurance and help you belong [3].
5. Remind yourself that this phase will pass
Missing your pre-dad life is normal in early fatherhood [7]. Better sleep, quiet moments with your partner, and personal time will return. This point of view helps you stay mentally strong through tough times.
6. Watch for signs of low mood or anxiety
Your mental health needs attention. Look out for these common signs:
Irritability or anger
Poor concentration
Feelings of guilt or hopelessness
Pulling away from family and friends
Physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches [12]
7. Talk to someone you trust
Sharing your feelings with someone who cares makes you feel substantially better [13]. A trusted friend, family member, or healthcare professional can help understand your situation. Note that asking for help shows your steadfast dedication to being a present and nurturing dad [14].
When to Seek Professional Help
Feeling overwhelmed as a first-time dad is normal, but sometimes challenges go beyond typical adjustment difficulties. Studies reveal that one in ten fathers experience postpartum depression, which peaks between three to six months after birth [15]. It also affects 5-15% of men who develop anxiety disorders during pregnancy or the first year after their baby arrives [5].
Recognising signs of depression or anxiety
Depression shows up differently in men than in women. Watch for these warning signs:
Social withdrawal or excessive focus on work [16]
Low energy and constant fatigue [16]
Unusual anger, irritability, or aggression [17]
Risky behaviors including increased alcohol use [16]
Physical issues like headaches or stomach problems [18]
Men tend to express depression through irritability and anger rather than sadness [18]. The time has come to get help if these symptoms last more than two weeks or affect your daily life [19].
How to approach your GP or health visitor
GPs are the healthcare professionals fathers trust most for mental health support [20]. Here’s how you can start the conversation:
Schedule a regular appointment and mention mental health concerns
Write down specific examples of your symptoms
Bring your partner along for support if needed [16]
Share your struggles openly—healthcare professionals see this often
– there is no shame.
Your health visitor supports you just as much as your partner and baby [3]. They provide great guidance and can point you to specialists.
What to expect from talking therapies
Talking therapies work well for paternal depression and anxiety. Your options include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or interpersonal therapy [18]
Short-term medication in appropriate cases [19]
Couples therapy, particularly if both parents struggle [19]
Many men feel better after just a few therapy sessions [18]. NHS talking therapies are available through GP referral or self-referral in England [3]. You can get treatment face-to-face, by phone, or through video calls [21]. There can be a waiting list so feel free to reach out as I offer counselling for new dads navigating the emotional challenges of fatherhood – this is my website HERE
Getting help early supports your wellbeing and your family’s health and relationships [15].
Support Networks and Resources for New Dads
The right support can transform your life as a first-time dad from basic survival to real enjoyment of your new role. Many resources exist to help fathers start their parenting experience.
Online and local dad support groups
Talking to other fathers who understand what you’re going through can be a powerful source of support. The Who Let the Dads Out? directory from Care for the Family lists dad support groups across the UK, many of which offer weekly online meetups where you can connect with other dads of newborns and toddlers. These spaces are supportive, non-judgemental, and focus on sharing experiences and practical tips to help you navigate the challenges of early fatherhood. Find out more at Care for the Family – Dad Support Groups.
Connecting with other fathers who understand the journey of early parenthood can be incredibly reassuring. Dad Matters in Manchester offers a range of support services tailored for dads, including one-to-one peer support, outreach programs at maternity centres, and community drop-ins. These initiatives provide safe, non-judgmental spaces where dads can share experiences, gain practical advice, and build confidence in their parenting roles. Whether you’re expecting your first child or adjusting to life with a newborn, Learn more and find support in your area by visiting Dad Matters Manchester.
Apps and guides like DadPad
DadPad, created with the NHS, is a vital resource for first-time dads. This free app gives you simple knowledge about:
Baby basics (feeding, sleeping, bathing)
Building bonds through activities like baby massage
Perinatal mental health guidance
Child development information [24]
The app also includes local details about hospitals, health visitor teams, and support services in your area [25]. Other useful apps include Daddy Up (with weekly updates showing “rugged” baby-size comparisons) and Baby Manager (to track feeds, sleep, and nappy changes) [26].
Mental health helplines and services
Becoming a new dad can be overwhelming, and it’s okay to find it hard. If you’re struggling with your mental health, you’re not alone—and there is support available:
PANDAS Foundation – Offers support for parents experiencing pre- or postnatal mental health challenges. Call their free helpline on 0808 1961 776 (open 11am–10pm, seven days a week).
Samaritans – Available 24/7 for anyone in emotional distress. Call 116 123 for free, anytime.
NHS Mental Health Helpline – For urgent mental health support, you can contact your local NHS Mental Health Helpline. Find your area’s number at www.nhs.uk/urgentmentalhealth or call 111 for guidance.
You don’t have to face this alone—support is just a call away.
Embracing the Journey of First-Time Fatherhood
Life changes completely when you become a father. As I wrote in this piece, the early months as a new dad test your mental strength but bring incredible joy. You should know that struggling during this transition is normal – not a failure at all.
One in ten fathers goes through postnatal depression in those first crucial months. Your feelings of being overwhelmed, uncertain, or alone are shared by many other dads going through the same emotional rollercoaster. The practical strategies we discussed are the foundations of mental wellbeing. Drop the Super Dad myth, talk openly with your partner, and keep your personal identity intact.
New dads often think twice before asking for help. They believe they should know everything about parenthood by instinct. But this thinking only leads to unnecessary stress. It takes real strength to reach out to other dads, friends, or professionals. On top of that, resources like DadPad and father-specific support groups are a great way to get guidance when you need it most.
Becoming a new dad can be life-changing in ways that are both joyful and unexpectedly challenging. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally triggered as you adjust to this new role—especially if it brings up unresolved issues from your own past. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
If you’re struggling with the emotional impact of fatherhood, counselling can offer a safe, confidential space to explore what’s going on and find ways to cope, connect, and grow.
Get in touch to book a free initial consultation or learn more about how therapy can support you at this stage of life.
You can also explore more articles on men’s mental health and fatherhood on the Ian Watts Counselling blog.
References
[1] – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/am-i-dying/202503/how-to-cope-with-new-dad-anxiety-and-imposter-syndrome
[2] – https://postpartum.net/group/dad-support-group/
[3] – https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/dads-and-partners/looking-after-your-mental-health-after-baby-born
[4] – https://emersonhealth.org/new-dads-and-mental-health/
[5] – https://postpartum.net/get-help/help-for-dads/
[6] – https://www.gidgetfoundation.org.au/fact-sheets/how-to-manage-the-stress-of-becoming-a-new-dad
[7] – https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/articles/zb7svk7
[8] – https://mhanational.org/mental-health-and-new-father
[9] – https://blog.zencare.co/communication-problems-new-parents/
[10] – https://healingspringswellness.com/5-essential-self-care-tips-for-first-time-dads-nurturing-your-mental-health/
[11] – https://gooddads.com/how-to-make-friends-as-a-busy-dad/
[12] – https://www.unitypoint.org/news-and-articles/male-postpartum-depression–unitypoint-health
[13] – https://globalfatherhoodfoundation.org/power-of-good-support-network/
[14] – https://marblewellness.com/post/new-school-year-tips-from-a-st-louis-therapist-2/
[15] – https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2023.01459
[16] – https://www.postpartumdepression.org/postpartum-depression/men/
[17] – https://www.texashealth.org/baby-care/Infancy/new-dads-partners-can-have-anxiety-and-depression
[18] – https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/postpartum/what-its-like-be-dad-with-postpartum-depression/
[19] – https://utswmed.org/medblog/paternal-postpartum-depression/
[20] – https://www.gov.scot/publications/paternal-perinatal-mental-health-evidence-review/pages/8/
[21] – https://talkingtherapies.rdash.nhs.uk/about-nhs-rotherham-talking-therapies/specialist-groups/parents/
[22] – https://parentshelpingparents.org/fathers-support-group
[23] – https://www.dadsgroup.org/
[24] – https://thedadpad.co.uk/about-dadpad/why-dadpad/
[25] – https://www.healthforkids.co.uk/plymouth/devon-dadpad-the-essential-app-for-new-dads/
[26] – https://www.conceiveabilities.com/about/blog/top-10-pregnancy-apps-for-dad
